It’s not that Im looking for these things..I mean not really. I’m usually more inclined to want Hot face, No Money. Or at least thats what I tend to attract, and I’m ok with that. I’m on some dating websites, mainly Ok Cupid and upon receiving messages for about a year from men I would never so much as fart at as they passed me on the street, I recently heard the words “Big dick, big wallet” in my head…like a magical mantra.
So I needed to interpret this message sent from the penile gods. What were they trying to tell me? For being a pretty girl, in a big city, Ive never really liked rich guys. If I did I should have been a sugar baby or trophy wife long ago. Though the shopping and eating well every night entices me, I usually think rich men are:
1. Ugly (hence them having the time to get rich)
2. Able to buy a less argumentative and opinionated woman’s affection than mine.
Lately I’m getting emails on OKC from dudes I find little attraction for, and I wish there was a nice way to say “Big Dick or Big Wallet need only apply here.” Because really, if Im not going to be proud to be on your arm, or able to gaze in to your beautiful face, and brag to all my girlfriends about how you used to be an underwear model…then you need to give me something to work with. You need a competitive edge.
This is where your penis AND/OR deep wallet comes in. This could be the thing that potentially makes you more attractive. You know how women cut bangs in their hair because it highlights their cheek bones? You should mention the way your blue eyes stand out against the shadow of your eight inches. These are the details I wish men would convey somehow when writing to a girl who is clearly out of their league.
Disclaimer to the Men on OkCupid:
Seriously, if you write me or any other girl with an account of your penis size and ability, you are gross and perverted, and we hate you. Also, money doesn’t buy love…it buys flowers. Dont forget them when you show up.